Friday, October 30, 2015

The Borowitz Report: Jeb Bush ends campaign with "Mission Accomplished" banner

Bloggers and pundits have been speculating about Bush's campaign being on a "death watch." After Bush's ineffectual performance in Wednesday's debate, Andy Borowitz at The New Yorker imagines an end to the ordeal.

MIAMI (The Borowitz Report)—Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush announced that he was dropping out of the race for the Republican Presidential nomination, while standing in front of a "Mission Accomplished" banner draped over the fa├žade of his campaign headquarters, in Miami.

While acknowledging that he took pride in the impressive success of his campaign, Bush stressed that victory did not belong to him alone. "This is a great day for America," he said.

Upon the conclusion of his remarks, Bush bade farewell to his staffers with a military-style salute before stepping into a waiting helicopter and ascending to the skies.

Check out the rest of Andy's satire.

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