Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Andy Borowitz: Ben Carson wants to find the lost city of Atlantis to pay down the national debt

Andy Borowitz at the New Yorker reports that Carson has had it with "gotcha" questions about his past. Carson will try to shift the national conversation to the quest for Atlantis.

MILWAUKEE (The Borowitz Report)—Arguing that the voters have tired of "gotcha questions," the Republican Presidential candidate Ben Carson said that he hoped Tuesday night’s debate would "focus on the real issues facing this country, like finding the lost city of Atlantis."

"The American people don’t want to hear personal attacks," Carson told reporters. "They want to know which candidate has the best plan for locating Atlantis and recovering its storied treasures."

Carson said that finding Atlantis was central to his plan for reviving the U.S. economy. "We could start paying down the national debt with one jewel-encrusted trident," he said.

Scriber thinks Carson's next project will be the Holy Grail. He could fill it with the jewels of Atlantis and then save the government money by decommissioning Fort Knox.

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