WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Moments after its conclusion on Sunday night, President Obama’s speech about combating ISIS came under heavy criticism from people with zero better ideas.
The President’s proposals, ranging from coalition air strikes against ISIS to beefing up intelligence about potential terrorists, were blasted for being “nothing new,” with the harshest criticism coming from people with nothing new.
Of all of the Republican Presidential candidates, the front-runner Donald Trump was perhaps the most withering in his criticism of the President’s speech. “I only heard the President use the word ‘tough’ once,” Trump said. “I gave a speech last night and used it fifteen times.”
Pressed for specifics about how he would combat ISIS, Trump acknowledged that he had “no new ideas,” but added, “My no new ideas will be much tougher than his no new ideas, you better believe it.”
Read the full Borowitz report for no new ideas from the rest of the GOP rat pack.
Must I keep reminding folks that Andy is a great satirist?