Here are snippets from Andy Borowitz's account in the New Yorker.
BURNS, OREGON (The Borowitz Report)—A majority of Oregonians favor building a twenty-foot wall along the border of their state to prevent angry white men from getting in, a poll released on Monday shows.
The survey indicates that Oregonians are fed up with irate male Caucasians pouring into their state and bringing with them guns, violence, and terrorism.
But the Oregonians also want to deal with the thousands of angry white men already there.
While some argue that the deportation of angry white men would separate them from their families, others believe that their families would be O.K. with seeing them go.