Death is inevitable but tax returns are not - unless you are every Presidential candidate other than Donald Trump. The Clintons just released their tax returns. As of this writing, Trump still refuses. Zero taxes perhaps? More love from Russia? Stay tuned to this one. It will be interesting to see (1) if the media now brings pressure to bear on Trump for his returns, and (2) how he might turn the narrative back against the Clintons. Scriber bets "no" on #1 and "yes" on #2.
Nuclear sarcasm. NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Clarifying his position on a key national-security issue, Donald Trump said on Friday that as President he would be willing to use nuclear weapons, “but only in a sarcastic way.” “People who are worried about me having the nuclear-launch codes should stop worrying, O.K.?” Trump told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. “If I ever used nuclear weapons, it would be really obvious that I was just being sarcastic.” Scriber: See Andy's New Yorker piece for more on which countries need to "lighten up" and the difference between sarcastic and nonsarcastic nuclear holocaust.