Borowitz at the New Yorker reports.
HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. (The Borowitz Report)—CNN launched an urgent manhunt Monday after Lester Holt, the moderator of the first Presidential debate of the 2016 general election, mysteriously vanished two minutes into the contest.
Network officials became concerned after the two Presidential nominees, Donald J. Trump and Hillary Clinton, were observed shrieking at each other nonstop for ninety seconds without intervention by Holt.
Actually, Clinton did not shriek but Holt did seem to disappear now and then. On the other hand, who among us could stop the 267 pound bully from being himself? Poor Lester.
For more on Trump's behavior check out Amy Davidson on Donald Trump as a failed bully
"I think my strongest asset, maybe by far, is my temperament,” Donald Trump said in the first Presidential debate, at Hofstra University, on Long Island, on Monday night. “I have a winning temperament. I know how to win.” On the split screen, his opponent, Hillary Clinton, looked amused, as she did through much of the debate. She appeared to think that she was winning; on balance, she was right.
But then Davidson reminds us of another truth that is cause for a restrained reaction to the debate.
It was hard to say at that point what Trump’s strongest asset might be, if not his temperament. He didn’t exactly display a diversified portfolio of Presidential qualities at Hofstra. This is not over—the polls are too close, the partisan filters through which the debates are viewed too covered with grime. Neither candidate exhibited the crumpling, physical acknowledgement of defeat that is fatal in a debate. But this night, at least, Trump didn’t figure out a way to win.
We should hope that Clinton's win, and it was that, coupled with her mature performance, will inject some fresh enthusiasm into her base.