Friday, November 11, 2016

Trump creates jobs for unskilled white males - Palin cries foul

Andy Borowitz (New Yorker) reports on Trump’s promise to be the great job creator.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Fulfilling a promise that was a hallmark of his campaign, President-elect Donald J. Trump said on Thursday that on Day One of his Administration he would create jobs for two unskilled white males.

Borowitz is referring to Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich.

Appearing at a press conference flanked by the males, Trump assailed an economy that had left the two men behind.

“These two guys are completely unskilled, unemployable, and angry,” Trump said, as the two males glowered at the press corps. “I, and I alone, can create jobs for people like them.”

Appearing on CNN, another unskilled white male, Corey Lewandowski, said that the two jobs Trump had created were “just the beginning.”

“Almost everyone Donald Trump knows is an angry, unskilled white male, and he’s going to give jobs to every last one of them,” he said.

Scriber’s sources say that Sarah Palin, also angry and unskilled, took exception to Trump’s appointments. She is reported to have said “This is another example of Trump’s disrespect for women. I deserve a position in the new administration just like Newt Jewelany and Rudy Grinch. I am even more unskilled than they are.”

Disclaimer: You could make this stuff up.

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