Saturday, October 14, 2017

Did Trump just grant independence to the US Virgin Islands?

Here’s the truth (before the White House spin team started redacting and revising).

CNN’s Daniella Diaz reports that Trump says he spoke to US Virgin Islands’ ‘president’ — which is him.

Washington (CNN)President Donald Trump accidentally referred to the US Virgin Islands’ governor as their President during a speech Friday — even though he is technically their President.

“I will tell you I left Texas and I left Florida and I left Louisiana and I went to Puerto Rico and I met with the President of the Virgin Islands,” he told the audience of the Values Voter Summit in Washington.

We are one nation and we all hurt together, we hope together and we heal together,” he said, later adding, “The Virgin Islands and the President of the Virgin Islands, these are people that are incredible people, they suffered gravely and we’re be there, we’re going to be there, we have really, it is not even a question of a choice.”

Trump appeared to be referring to Virgin Islands Gov. Kenneth Mapp, instead of the “President” who is Trump himself. The Virgin Islands is a US territory.

Diaz reports that the White House changed “President” to “Governor” in the official transcript. Of course they would.

And now for the fiction.

New Yorker satirist Andy Borowitz reports that Trump Says I.Q. “Even Higher” Now That He Knows Virgin Islands Are Part of U.S.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump said on Friday that his I.Q. is “even higher” now that he knows that the United States Virgin Islands are part of the United States.

“Quite frankly, a few weeks ago, when I learned that Puerto Rico was a part of the U.S., I thought that that boosted my I.Q. to a whole new level,” Trump said. “Now that I also know about the Virgin Islands, my number must be off the charts.”

He said that he was eager to retake his I.Q. test because of “all the amazing things I learned this week.” “For example, I just learned that the stock market can’t reduce the national debt,” he said. “If there was a question about that on an I.Q. test, I would nail that question.”

Trump said that his one concern was that an I.Q. test does not exist that can accurately measure his ballooning intelligence.

“I always knew that I was scary smart, but now I think my brain is terrifying,” he said.

Scriber’s usually unreliable sources add more reporting. Trump, following his foreign policy of revenue neutrality, promises more foreign aid to the Virgin Islands and less for the other sovereign nation of Puerto Rico. Trump elaborated: “Puerto Rico needs to get their act together before we provide another penny of foreign aid. Our troops will be coming home soon and FEMA will have a balanced budget.”

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