Given the fast pace of Trump’s tweets and infantile behavior, taking time out for some humor is good medicine. So, …
New Yorker satirist Andy Borowitz reports Trump Comes Out Strongly Against Intelligence.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Using some of his harshest rhetoric in recent memory, President Donald J. Trump came out strongly against intelligence on Wednesday morning.
“I’ve listened to these people with so-called intelligence go on and on, and, quite frankly, it’s a waste of time,” he said. “I know a lot more than people with intelligence do.”
Trump added that he has stopped receiving intelligence briefings at the White House, arguing, “I can do my job without any intelligence whatsoever.”
He said that he has chosen, instead, to seek advice from his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and from his elder children, Ivanka, Eric, and Donald, Jr. “You won’t find a trace of intelligence in anything they say,” he boasted.
At a briefing for the White House press corps, the President’s press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, denied that Trump’s war on intelligence was a new development. “Intelligence has never played a role in Donald Trump’s life,” she said.
But we can’t stray too far from the jarring world of Trump’s alternative reality. You know, for example, that Sarah Suckabee Handers is the Trump regime’s purveyor of anti-truth and other fictions.
Susan B. Glasser, also at the New Yorker, reports on another of Handers’ claims: Trump Lost the Shutdown, But At Least God Made Him President, and He’s Building That Wall. Here are a couple of excerpts.
It’s hardly surprising that, in the days since his shutdown humiliation, Trump has retreated into the virtual seclusion of Twitter, holed up watching cable news and tweeting his alternative reality as America struggles with an actual deep freeze. For Trump, the fake world is much better than the real one. There is no extreme weather in his White House; in fact, climate change does not exist inside its walls. Trump’s policy has decreed it. He’s avoiding more than just the frigid air outside; in the cocoon of the Oval Office, there are only invited guests and staff who, while they may be secretly leaking unflattering accounts, at least have the good sense to be nice to Trump’s face. In recent days, the Democratic Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, has compared Trump to a petulant toddler and openly wondered what Russia has on him. Why would Trump want to spend his time negotiating with her? Much better, from Trump’s point of view, to simply announce, as he did to reporters on Thursday, that “Nancy Pelosi will be begging for a wall,” and spend the day with his own press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who this week told an interviewer that God “wanted Donald Trump to become President.”
On Wednesday, Trump created another mini-furor by openly disputing the intelligence assessments of his own government. A day earlier, his spy chiefs had testified to Congress about their annual global-threats report, and it was lost on no one that their findings clashed mightily with the key assumptions underpinning the President’s approach to Iran, North Korea, and isis. Trump seemed to have missed the testimony, but he caught the negative TV coverage, and his tweets Wednesday burned with anger at the officials he had appointed. They were “extremely passive and naive,” he tweeted, and hadn’t a clue about the great success of his major foreign-policy initiatives. Trump was rightfully barraged with criticism from the fact-based community; in response, he hauled the unhappy-looking spy chiefs in for an Oval Office photo-op on Thursday and blamed the media for misreporting their televised testimony. “We are all on the same page!” he tweeted. But neither Trump nor the intelligence community backed down a bit on the substance of the controversy, even as it perfectly distilled this low moment in Trump’s Presidency: with reality looking so grim, why not pretend to live in a world where North Korea is disarming, Iran is the deal breaker, and a big, beautiful, soon-to-be-built wall is defending us from the southern invaders? Anything can be true in a world where God himself made you President and everybody who disagrees with you is wrong.
Scriber’s message to God is this: “Hey, God! Get off our case. America did not deserve Trump. In 2020 you can ’fess up to your mistake and then make someone else President.”