Friday, February 1, 2019

UPDATE - God wanted Trump to become President. Now we know which God takes responsibility.

Yesterday I posted on Susan B. Glasser’s report on one of Sarah Suckabee Handers’ claims: Trump Lost the Shutdown, But At Least God Made Him President, and He’s Building That Wall. Glasser wrote that Handers this week told an interviewer that God “wanted Donald Trump to become President."

Here’s the thing. Which God? Handers continues the practice of the Trump administration making ambiguous claims. Roman Catholic God? Jewish Yahweh? Muslim Allah? And the list goes on.

Fortunately, New Yorker satirist Andy Borowitz takes on the job of disambiguating Handers’ claim. He ID’d a Greek Goddess, specifically: Eris, Greek Goddess of Chaos, Confirms That She Wanted Trump to Be President

MT. OLYMPUS (The Borowitz Report)—Partially confirming Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s theory of divine intervention in the 2016 election, Eris, the Greek goddess of chaos, discord, and strife, revealed on Friday that she had wanted Donald J. Trump to be President.

Speaking from her temple on Mt. Olympus, the usually reclusive deity said that Trump was “far and away” her first choice to be President in 2016.

“I’d been following his career for years,” the goddess of disorder and ruin said. “The bankruptcies, the business failures. There was a lot for me to love.”

She complained that the media had given Vladimir Putin “way too much credit” for Trump’s ascent, asserting, “Who do you think made Putin President of Russia?”

Looking ahead to the 2020 election, Eris said that she was officially undecided about which candidate to back for President, but that she was leaning toward Howard Schultz. “What a shit show that would be,” she said.

No comments:

Post a Comment