Instead of listing all the themes, schemes, memes, and falemes in this edition of the Illustrated Gnus (inspired by cartoons from AZ Blue Meanie at Blog for Arizona), I am going to follow the lead of grade schools. Remember the three R’s? I’ve got more R’s for you. Russia, Racism,Rats, Rich, Republicans, Rump. Oops. Guess I misspelled one of those.
- Scriber thinks he knows Moscow Mitch’s very first word: “Nyet!”
- Trump says Baltimore is infested with rats. Along the lines of psychological projection, Scriber thinks this is the first ever example of Architectural Projection.
- Congress runs like rats for cover, heading home for the holidays. What do you think the chances are of effective gun legislation? The House won’t return so they cannot propose bills that the Senate won’t hear.
Parting thoughts: Link Found Between Gun Violence and Cowardly Politicians
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—There is a “significant link” between gun violence and cowardly politicians, a new study from the University of Minnesota asserts.
The study, which is raising eyebrows with its startling conclusions, finds that the most reliable predictor of gun violence is the “prevalence of quiveringly fearful politicians in positions of power.”
As part of the study’s methodology, researchers examining gun violence compared countries ruled by non-cowards with those ruled by gutless toadies.
“In countries ruled by non-cowards, such as New Zealand, gun violence is virtually nonexistent,” the study claims.
While the study’s authors paint a bleak picture of nations with “coward-rich” leadership, they offer a recommendation to remedy this dire state of affairs.
"While censoring movies or video games would have no measurable effect on gun violence, major strides can be made by replacing cowards in government with non-cowards,” the study suggests, noting that this theory could be tested as early as 2020.