Friday, May 14, 2021

'Elise Stefanik in new GOP role promises 'Yes, Daddy' ...

… but what the hey. Any of the House Trumpublicans could have filled that role. Stefanik just bows and scrapes a bit more. It’s the stuff made for satire.

New Yorker satirist Andy Borowitz has two commentaries about the elevation of Elise Stefanik to a Republican House leadership position.

Stefanik Solemnly Swears to Defend Trump from Constitution
Elise Stefanik Replaces Ivanka as Trump’s Daughter

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — In a solemn swearing in as the new House Republican Conference chair, Representative Elise Stefanik vowed to defend Donald J. Trump from the United States Constitution.

With House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy officiating, Stefanik raised her right hand and rested her left on a first edition of “The Art of the Deal.”

"I, Elise Stefanik, do solemnly swear to preserve, protect, and defend Donald J. Trump from the Constitution of the United States,” she recited.

Stefanik became emotional as she finished the oath, in which she promised to defend Trump “from all enemies, foreign and domestic—but especially from that jerk Liz Cheney.”

Perhaps that’s why Trump has taken on Stefanik as an Ivanka replacement.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — Consolidating her position as America’s foremost Trump loyalist, Representative Elise Stefanik stunned political insiders on Wednesday by replacing Ivanka Trump as one of the former President’s daughters.

According to those familiar with the shakeup, Donald Trump made the move after Stefanik spent months convincing him that she was substantially more loyal than his now former daughter.

In an official statement from Mar-a-Lago, Trump wished Ivanka well, adding, “She had a good run.”

Stefanik, who is running to replace Representative Liz Cheney as chair of the House Republican Conference, put to rest any doubt that she could handle that job while fulfilling her responsibilities as Trump’s daughter.

“They’re basically the same job,” she said. “I just have to say ‘Yes, Daddy.’ ”

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